We live in a very opinionated and noisy world where people aren't afraid to speak their mind and form opinions about one another. I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to care a little too much about what others think and say about me. It's a struggle to turn off the voices, turn a blind eye, and not wonder what others are thinking and saying about me behind my back. I'm not proud of it, but I admit that I have acquired a bad habit of letting that define who I am and shape the way I view myself from time to time.
If you can relate to this, let me tell you that you are not alone. Many people struggle with this, especially as young women who are trying to figure out who we are in this crazy world, what our true purpose is, and how to navigate it all when there's pressure from others in our life who have formed strong opinions about what they think we should or shouldn't be doing with our life. As women we want to be liked and we want to please others with who we are and what we do. We're people pleasers. It's a part of our nature.
But let me offer you some advice that I recently heard, that helped me and offered some new perspective, and that I hope can do the same for you. So here it is....
It's important to realize that people are fickle. One day they're there for you and happy for you, and the next day they're not. One day they may think you are the best person ever, and the next day they don't. Their attitudes and affections toward you are constantly changing. I'm sure we've all encountered that one friend we thought was in our corner through thick and thin, but when circumstances changed, we saw their true colors come out and we realized that they were never truly in our corner for the long haul. But the reality was that they fell into the category of a "fickle" friend. A friend who may like you some days and consider you a good friend, and another day comes along and they have a new friend they appreciate better. That's a sad truth, but a common example that occurs in our world, and there are plenty of other examples of this that I'm sure are running through your minds right about now.
Let me also point out that people are going to disappoint us...friends, family members, acquaintances, and frankly, we'll have our fair share of taking on the role as the "disappointer." It's truly inevitable from time to time, no matter how hard we try not to. Nobody is perfect. It's human nature to make mistakes and be naive to other peoples' feelings from time to time. But what's most important to realize is that our worth doesn't come from others. Our worth doesn't come from peoples' opinions or perceived expectations of us. Our worth doesn't come from the disappointments of others. Our true worth comes from God, our Heavenly Father. He never changes, so we never have to worry about Him being fickle with us. He remains the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and for that, He is truly the only constant in our life.
These lyrics from Sanctus Real's song, "My God Is Still The Same," sums it up perfectly:
"When did He break His promise?
When did His kindness fail?
Never has, never will
My God is still the same
When did He lose His power?
When did His mercy change?
Never has, never will
My God is still the same."
Our worth doesn't have to come from the things people say about us. Because God created us and chose us as His own, our worth can come from the things He says about who we are. We just have to believe it and choose His voice above all the other noise.
Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. -Psalm 100:3
It can be such a slippery slope if we allow the other noise (voices/opinions of others and of the enemy) cloud our truth and define who we are. It can steal our confidence, our purpose, our faith, and cause us to fall into the depths of our own self-loathing, not appreciating who we are and who God created us to be.
God created us perfectly and beautifully, because He makes no mistakes. We are each His masterpiece. He created us to be conquerors, strong and courageous beings through Him, in order to carry out His will and overall purpose for our lives.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. - Ephesians 2:10
We are more than conquerors through him who loved us. -Romans 8:37
We ultimately have to choose whose voice we are going to listen to and whose voice will be loudest in our life. It will make all the difference in the world in how we view ourselves, and not only that, but how we view others as well. We have to choose to not care what others may or may not be saying about us, and care all the more about what God says about who we are and what we should be doing. He will lead us to becoming our best selves in a way that no one else's advice could compare to.
And on another note, let's choose and strive to not be that "fickle" friend towards others. Let's be the friend that is always happy and cheering for our friends during their successes and proud moments, and who is there for them throughout the difficult times. Let's let God, through His words about who He says we are, help us to be the best kind of friend we can be for others and allow Him to lead us to the right friends for us.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. -Romans 12:15
Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me." - Romans 15:2-3
Let me end by asking you this very important question that I believe can change everything for you:
Whose voice are you allowing to be loudest in your life?
Love Always,
Jessy Marie
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